Sunday, July 4, 2010

One year ago

I have a pretty bad memory.
(That is the primary reason I blog, to capture memories.)
But I remember this day last year very clearly.

We woke up and I took a pregnancy test.
The little lines were so faint I didn't believe they were actually there.
Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me.
So we went and bought a fancy digital test.

Ben and I stood there staring at the test to change for what felt like an eternity.
Then, the "Yes+" popped up.
We laughed, hugged, and I cried.

Afterward, we went outside and I weeded the garden.
What do you do when you find out your life has just completely changed?
That your body is no longer just your own?
That you are now carrying life?
I weed the garden. :)

Then, we went out to breakfast to celebrate.

This past year has flown by.
I've experienced so much.

I now know what it feels like to be kicked from the inside.
What it feels like worry...truly worry.
What it's like to have your body grow to cartoon-like proportions.
What it feels like to bring a baby into the world.
What it feels like to hold a precious little life while they take their first breath.
What it feels like to literally be holding your heart in your hands.

I've learned a lot this past year, too.
I learned that my body is capable of growing and sustaining life.
(I should probably have a little more grace for it and the baby weight that refuses to budge.)
I learned the best smell on Earth is a baby's head.
That even though we said we wouldn't want a baby "change us", it changes us...but in a good way...a really, really good way.
I learned that when I didn't think it was possible to love my husband more than I did, I saw him become a father.
I love how Ben loves Alice.

I understand what the phrase "a mother's love" means.
I understand what it feels like to want to ferociously protect your child.
Becoming a mom has opened my eyes to just how much God loves us.
My love for Alice is indescribable and yet God loves her more than I do.
How is that even possible!?

I'll conclude my ramblings with this:
Thank you, Lord, for the gift you gave us in our sweet little Alice!

And Happy Independence Day!


Chrissy said...

That's very, very sweet!
And, yes, to all of those things.
It changes you for sure, but in wonderful ways. You will never be the same... but it's a good thing to change because you love a child!
Love you, Mo!

MrsA.Woods said...

That's cool we both found out on July 4th! Hard to believe it's been an entire year.

Dawn Rainbowstar said...

I'm crying. That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that!