Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Lately...

To say life has been challenging lately,
would be a great understatement.

We've had 2 sweet little brothers with us for over a month now.

L to R: 17 months, 5 1/2 years, 6 months, 26 months.
4 littles is exhausting.

However, when 2 of those littles have been abused and neglected, 
you have to take everything you know about parenting 
and throw it out the freaking window.

I'm thankful for my camera so I can look back and say,
"Oh look! I did do SOMETHING with my kids during that hard time!"

Clementine LOVED this busy bag!
Sorting pom poms by color using tongs:

Playing in a bin of snow:

Valentine making:

"Roasting" marshmallows:

Swimming with Daddy:

Calico Critters:
(THANK YOU, MANDY!!!!!!)

Playing in a TON of snow!

I wish I could share more pictures of the boys.
They are so incredibly cute!

Things I didn't take pictures of:
The day I had to clean puke off of most surfaces on our main level.
The times when 3-5 of us are crying at the same time.
The countless shows my big girls have watched.
The very little homeschooling that has taken place.
The poopslosion in the bathtub.
The hundreds, HUNDREDS, of poopy diapers I've changed. (Not even exaggerating.)
The times I hear a little voice say, "MY mommy". Sharing me has been hard for Clementine.
Waking up 4-5 times a night with the toddler...and having no idea what he needs.
The constant food battles.
The big, sad tears that form when I drop them off for visits...and then again when I pick them up.
The nights when I cry to Ben saying, "I cannot do this any longer. I'm serious this time. I'm dying."
The moment I hear that worship song that sings, "And when I cannot stand, I'll fall on you"...and cry.
The 15 foster care related appointments in 22 days in January.
The 4+ weeks of coughing from the boys.

There you go!
I would hate for anyone to think we're all rainbows and butterflies around here.
We have more than our fair share of storm clouds and mosquitos.
(Is a mosquito the opposite of a butterfly? I kind of think so.)

Foster care.
:sigh:
It is BY FAR the hardest thing I've ever done.
So good. So rewarding. So very needed.
But also so lonely and HARD.

God is good.
His mercies are new each day.
He's making beauty from ashes.
He loves me and my kids...the 2 I birthed,
and the 15 who we have cared for the past (almost) 4 years.
He is carrying us through this.

{kids are still napping, so I'm just going to keep rambling}

Ben.
There is NO ONE I'd rather do hard things with.
Ben in my rock.
He is quick to serve his family.
He is supportive and understanding.
He prays for us.
He gets up with crying kids in the night.
I married up BIG time.

5 comments:

Miss G said...

What a treasure of real messy beautiful life and God's faithfulness and working in you this post will be to look back on in years to come. love you friend! Kelly
p.s. I spied the ikea pencils and this "messy mat" you have set up, wrapping paper and painter's tape? You have lots of good ideas that I like to copy. :)

Mandy said...

i just adore you. so thankful to know your heart and be a small part of your life.

Krystle said...

Oh man. We just stared our Foster Care journey a little over two weeks ago. I'm worn.
Glad I'm not alone ❤️

Rachel said...

Praying for you! You are a great example for me.

Kirstin Gentry said...

oh mama, I'm sorry it's been rough! praying from saipan. also, I need to email you (did I tell you we're doing foster here?). high highs and lows lows... praying for glimpses of redemption and an abundance of patience. xoxo.